When we come to realize our own stuckness and the potential need for a big change, fear tends to kick in.
Our minds’ alarm bells go off, sending out all kind of messages with the only aim being to prevent us from just that change.
Not because of its sadistic nature that wants to keep us stuck, but because change means replacing the „known“ by the „unknown“, with the „unknown“ entailing unforeseeable factors and hence a certain risk.
So essentially it’s about keeping us safe, protecting us from risk as minor it may be and as unbearable the alternative, staying stuck, really is.
Unless we are fully aware of this happening, of this being a „natural“ reaction it’s easy to get absorbed by it, let fear take over and hit the „snooze button“ for another year or two, or decade or lifetime.
So the key is to detect these thoughts as what they are: the mind's stressed out attempt to keep us in our comfort zones, no matter how unhappy we are and no matter how freaking good and important that new chapter would be for us.
While „excuses“ may sound judgmental, it’s not intended to be. All the points I am listing below are thoughts I’ve been pondering myself for years before finally liberating myself from my own stuckness.
In my case a well-paid but draining 9-5 office job, a beautiful but binding apartment in Barcelona.
It wasn’t until I finally realized I was making excuses and running away from taking a big, scary decision, before I could actually take it:
Leave my comfort zone, venture INTO THE WILD, the unknown, to start a completely new, life-giving chapter.
So let’s take a look at what these 7 most popular excuses are, shall we?
#1 Objectively viewed… my life is pretty good
It's always great to look at things from different angles and perspectives… If your personal point of view on your life continues being just „fine“, „not so good“ or actually „pretty bad“: Wake up, it’s YOUR life you’re missing out on!
#2 Maybe it’s just a phase
Sure, there will always be „not so cool“ phases in life but if that phase has been going on for quite some time, and you’re hitting (yet another) anniversary without having a concrete action plan in place to transition to a much better phase- now’s the time!
#3 I don’t know how to do xyz
Yes, probably that’s because you haven’t done xyz before. If you had you’d probably already be doing it by now, right?
There’s always a first time for everything and we live in the age of ALL POSSIBLE information being just a mouse click away.
Start joining relevant facebook/ linkedin or any offline similar-interest groups to find people who are already doing what you want to be doing, ask for help and advice. People are usually friendly and love to help.
#4 What if I regret it later on?
Ye, and we all know that that almost never happens. What usually happens is that we regret NOT having done the bold, scary and utterly exciting things outside of our comfort zones.
#5 I am not good enough to do xyz
Luckily we’re humans, gifted with the ability to learn and take in new skills, knowledge, habits- take advantage of it!
Trigger your appetite to learn new things by imagining you using these new skills like a pro already.
So if it was e.g. learning Spanish, imagine yourself being at a night out in Barcelona, speaking to all these new, fun people in fluent Spanish, getting the jokes, being perfectly confident to express yourself in that foreign language.
Also challenge that statement of not being good enough. Are you really not good enough? Would your best friend, co-worker, boss, client, etc. say the same thing about you?
Define „good“. which aspects of that do you already bring to the table? How good do you have to be to get started?
How good are others doing the same thing already? Are they really all better qualified?
If it’s a YES: Cool, time to learn something new! If you just noticed that actually you may not even be that bad at xyz after all, it might be the perfect time to nurture and grow your self confidence.
So how about working on replacing some old beliefs of „not being good enough“ by something along the lines of „I am resourceful and ready to explore xyz“.
If you don't see that happening without any guidance: find a book around the topic of mindset training or get help from a trained coach.
#6 I don’t have the money to do xyz
Okay, so you don’t have the money piled up in your bank account yet. How much money will you need to do xyz? How much money exactly?
What can you do to save up that money? Cut that gym subscription you never use, go running outside instead?
Eat out once a week instead of all the time? Get comfortable with not walking around in the latest fashion?
Take on some freelance work or mini job on the side? Finally ask for that pay raise?
Become creative, it can be fun- especially if you keep that vision of what you’ll be manifesting with that money super present!
#7 I don't know what I want
Is that true? Really? Most times we actually do know what we want, deep down we at least have a sense of it.
And again: If it entails big change, chances are high our mind makes up overwhelm and confusion, so we forget about that idea before it can evolve into something real.
If you've checked-in with yourself as honest and un-biased as you can and still feel you have no idea:
Start paying attention to all the things that you enjoy doing, that light you up and make you feel alive. These are your clues.
Know you don't need to have all the answers and the master plan laid out in front of you before you can start taking steps. You just have to start moving and find out while you do.
Also if you find it challenging to connect to your intuiton, your essence, your inner wisdom or whatever you prefer to call it:
Meditation, yoga, mindfulness training and a professional coach will help you strengthen that intuition muscle.
Detected some that sound familiar? What others are you telling yourself?
Want look at these together, further explore and tackle that change that you’ve been fearing but longing for?
Get in touch, coaching and supporting others on their path out of stuckness and into a refreshingly new, fully alive reality is just what I do!
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